BTen1gma

Brandon

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The Ballad of My Stepfather by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

The Ballad of My Stepfather

Every now and than the slideshow of memories flashes against my will every horrifying scene intensifying my anger and the hate and though he is long gone the stench of his viral essence lingers how I vomit in disgust of his grin and luster I try hard as I must to keep that cellar door shunned and locked but the beating of his ravaging hearts continues, signaling his being calling upon all the bruises and cries that I try to repress only to realize that the heart beneath is not his, but mine for the decade of distain has crept its way into my very soul With all the experiences, memories and nature that becomes me I would rip myself a

Cheers for the Zero's by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

Cheers for the Zero's

How did it all came crashing down in thunder is she karma running me over in my own headlights scorching me with your cold touch and silent whisper my body already riddled with tears of ex-lovers (Chorus) want to forget the memories of you all the feelings written down in sketch Im missing all the timing, missing the opputunity missing all the timing where I cant take the steps to get ahead baby, your the pain that stains and my colliding runaway train the cause of ripping hearts and the fallin lain sowing the seeds where the soul grows with bane (Chorus) your temptress eyes got me stunned in quiet awe funny though the heat o

The Dark Room by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

The Dark Room

I go into a very dark place where there are no doors and windows the only windows you see are my eyes all black with no sense of purity, as my soul grows taint with angusit and blood for the hated and mistrust where I smile with the wicked of demons and play deviant games with devils and where I desire the courtships of all the longhaird tortured banshees who crackle scream decending the stairs there in this room lies the knife of dried blood of all ive stabbed in the minds eye and the heart of loved ones where the raven picks at the dead and the crow flys them to their reversed resting place how gleaming are their tombstones in

call number 5,no pick up loser by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

call number 5,no pick up loser

accidents happens and find me tripped over your heart blood on my shirt and smiles on my sleeve can't you let me leave before this stays a stain cause its all the same when i fell for you, cant you see I dont wanna lose, these waiting games and signals a blazing just take me by the hand and i'll take you by the waist why does it seem that your lips get bigger when your breathing so hard on me funny how life spits on you, cant wipe it off like glue she stings and she soars, this symphony roars all your silent scream and sudden urges wont win her heart but make you a hopless fool drop the phone, she's home, but her heart has no room

Your Pink Suicide Note by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

Your Pink Suicide Note

Here is your lovely suicide note, its cold to the touch your ghosts and your whispers still linger here with the touch of teardrop vapours souring the air how is it u feel with such poison in those lips kiss me its check out time and your late for your funeral leave that pink slip here, your fired from life you'll feel the burn when you freefall to hell, baby u will that pink suicide note, still rests unreadiy with the stains of your blood was saving your wrists to much to ask all those times i asked, ask for your presence will u respond when your juss an apparition in my cold sleep give me excuses, i love to hear them, cause your

A forgotten wish, on Christmas by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

A forgotten wish, on Christmas

Guess I'm done writing all these words Written all I have and little left I can say All those silent times, where those voices spoke and all their loud chatter drove me to write about how I felt penciling each letter, driven so fast and still stuck with brakes on I want to express myself a bit further, leave the words as footprints only to drift somewhere else, like smoke in the wind these fingers cant pull off inspiring words and meaningful metaphors record down all those moments my mind can no longer fill but here I am, with the cold air rushing in, my fingers numb and my mind steaming out thoughts, scolding my eyes staring at th

That and This before by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

That and This before

So many scenes of the sweet and simple the all to familiar hand made cards and pizza dinner plans all so planned, so played out, this heart worned down do you expect me to go further now you want me to be a stone strong for you, sand for you everywhere overplayed, over abused, and under minded can't you say I love you in a more unique way make it so new and unheard of that even in the most silent whisper in hell's more roaring fire, I still hear it as clear as water, and more defining than wedding bells Don't need puppy love cause I dont want to be played Don't need infatuated love cause I want you to lust for my mind too Take b

Want to fall near you by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

Want to fall near you

All the soft and loving words of a pouring heart Trying to fill you full of my whimsical self All the slight slurs and awkward silences Me paddling against this river of doubt, Please throw me a lifesaver, and respond to me Before I go over this fall, with all my heart drained in my own drought This long conversation going for so long The seconds seems like minutes, and each word a poem Trying to romance you, flirt you, tell you I want you That I dare say I fell for you I don't know why I did, but since we started My parachute filled with rocks, falling faster now You say that you aren't worth my time Well I would stop the uni

Family cell Breakdown by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

Family cell Breakdown

A slam of a door, cracks like a freight train running through midnight skies screams, yells, and screeches echo into far corners of the darkened corridors I feel a sense of discomfort, one I unfortunately am use to the twisting of my stomach, the dryness in my throat and the pure pain of heart and head multiply as fast as cells reproduce but the family cell here isn't reproducing, no its self destructing imploding and exploding a 1000 times over with the combined heat and hate contained in hell's kitchen sonic booms of objects flying like across the room like missiles and the resulting tears and sores that would be fallout from a cr

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Second Chance by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

Second Chance

Second Chance... What wold I have to give to be with you again What would I have to sell to talk to you again To chat, talk even for a brief moment What would I have to sacrifice in order to see you again To just glance for a little while To once again see your radient smile What would I have to do to get a second chance I'd give my everything for that What would I need to plan to feel you again To hold you tightly in my arms and keep you, warm if ever cold winds happen to blow by What would I need to do to meet up with you again How far would I need to travel Would I need to drive for hours Or walk a thousand miles The dista

The Things That I want by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

The Things That I want

The Things That I Want I want a cigarette A whisky For the sun to shine All my problems drowned out in gunfire Want the rain to wash away the blood on my hands To feel clean again and have the courage to look myself, in the mirror I yearn for my nightmares to end For that gaping hole to close and swallow my wounded past I want a gun with no guilt of murder and unlimited ammo Most of all I Need Her....

Sew my eyes by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

Sew my eyes

There you are, I want to stay invisible out of sight, out of your mind as well as mine My vision deceives me making me think that it's so real but it is only a mirage a phantom of a love lost My eyes won't shut my heart glues my eyelids open Blindfolding will not cover my sight the haunting images circulate in my mind Instead burn my retina's Sew my eyelids shut let the blood and tears pour until both run dry Though all will seem so futile As my mind will see farther than my eyes ever will If my vision cannot alter my disturbed reality let the darkness of fantasy overlap my view...

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Want to fall near you by BTen1gma, literature

Literature

Want to fall near you

BTen1gma

About BTen1gma

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Canada
Deviant for 18 years
He / Him

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My Bio

Current Residence: Canada
Favourite genre of music: Rock, alternative, emo
Operating System: Windows XP
Shell of choice: HUH?!
Wallpaper of choice: doesnt matter I change it enuff times
Favourite cartoon character: Peter Griffin, Stewie, and Brian
Personal Quote: Don`t regret about yesterday, live for today, look foward to tomorrow

Favourite Visual Artist

Caravaggio

Favourite Movies

Shawshank Redemption, Sin City

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Taking Back Sunday

Favourite Writers

Edgar Allen Poe

Favourite Games

Final Fantasy X

Favourite Gaming Platform

PS2, PC

Other Interests

Rollerblading, writing, and anything if im bored enough

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BTen1gma

Jan 14, 2006

Perfect Situation

0 min read

from the title, im stuck listening to that song by weezer, since it fits my situation with a girl these days, so far the progress has halted to a standstill and i dont know what to do, besides that i have other stuff going on im life, be nice if i got a signal or direction to look forward to with her, so i wouldnt have to sit on my hands, w/e sit and wait it is

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BTen1gma

Sep 4, 2005

cant think of a subject

0 min read

So tired, very confused. damn i am out of my element. im fire what are you? well my flame has grown black, no longer the red that encouraged bravery and other crap. time flies by, pendulum swings, grains of sand fall, hands tick. I dont know where to go from here. Get busy dying, get busy living, i want the middle one. No longer myself right now, hate it and love it. Want to reach out with a hand but turn it into a fist if someone gets close. Create a alter ego, call him fenix let him say everything and do on to others that I am to meek to do, let my weaker self ........... juss sit in the shadows of a poor lit room

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BTen1gma

Sep 3, 2005

HATE Relations

0 min read

Have those days where the well placed plans you have completly disentegrate into complete utter fucking shit?!   Damn domino effect crushing my plans with each fall, my patience running thin, cant even think straight. The world is already screwed, WHY does my little world that resides in my head have to go down with reality downward spiral. My own replacement reality goes straight to hell where Satan is snacking in it while poking some dead asshole. But hey Satan is no where near the friggin banshee (sister) next door. Her hell hole mouth needs a grenade it in. EXPLODE damn you! All the times Ive watched over you and defended you and all I ge